I was watching a DID-friendly podcast* the other day and the speaker was talking about the loss and gain that comes with every disclosure. In her case, she was referring to disclosure in a large, public setting where the targets fought tooth and nail to discredit the information she revealed. She lost friends and family in that exchange which added, of course, to her grief and pain.
I nodded my head. Yes, I get that. It happened to me too. I disclosed by publishing my memoir. I lost one beloved family member and the sense that we are a cohesive family unit. It’s painful. It’s added to my grief.
People who use financial spreadsheets usually speak of Gain and Loss to describe the total state of an account. I don’t know why they put gain first. Maybe it’s because they want the good news to pave the way for what comes next. A sound business has many larger gains than losses.
Loss
Which may explain why most of us aren’t successful business people! We reverse the order and speak of loss, first, and gain, next, because we’re often mired in loss and can barely fathom gain. At least in this very moment, when we’re just hanging on by a thread, the losses are sometimes unbearable. Disclosures, especially, can increase the risk exponentially, but losses come in other shapes and sizes. Loss of self-esteem, identity, memory, reputation, relationships, jobs, income, and sometimes worst of all, the loss of our fantasy childhoods are all on the chopping block when it comes to loss.
Gain
The other side of the ledger, though, is gain, and we can’t ignore it. Even when we’re depressed, dissociated, suicidal and can’t imagine anything positive coming out of the mess that is us, something inside pushes us into the gain column. I’m not sure what this something is or where it comes from. We may have been born with it. Maybe it’s an essential part of who we are even if we can’t access it sometimes. For some of us, it lives in an alter and for others it resides in the heart of our whole self. Wherever it comes from and wherever it lives, it calculates our gain to tell us, in the whole scheme of things, in the total state of our account, we’re on the plus side. We are gaining more than we’re losing. We’re made up of more that’s positive than negative. We’re stronger than we are weak, and fiercer than we are timid.
Like the lady in the podcast, we’re all standing on the truth, protecting the vulnerable, and giving voice to those who have had no voice. One therapy session at a time, one journal entry at a time, one insight at a time, one piece of art at a time, one memory at a time. We are brave even when we’re afraid. We are resolute even when we’re confused. We’re expansive even when we feel small.
A Strong Balance Sheet
We way not run a sound business, but we are sound and this is our business. Our balance sheet is strong. We are real and that’s the greatest gain!
* I highly recommend The Ugly Truth About the Girl Next Door podcast. Take it slowly if you listen as it may be triggering.
There’s Still Time … ! DW Anthology
There’s still time! Submit your writing by September 16! Our third annual Creative Healing Anthology is open to all subscribers to DW. All writing and art may be submitted, along with the Guidelines and Agreement to Publish (found at Groupeasy/Documents/Anthology 2024), between July 1 and September 16 by clicking here. Anticipated self-publication date is January 16, 2024. The digital anthology will be available for free on the Dissociative Writers website. For more information, click here.
Suritaplus is an Author!
"Quilted" is the story of Suritaplus, a multi-faceted woman who, at the age of 17, left home for a college 600 miles away. She looked forward to a life unburdened by her father's invasive hands, threatening language, and the weight of his body against hers. It is a story of her healing from the lasting, hidden damage caused by a childhood filled with trauma. "Quilted" chronicles the author's journey from first hearing the words Dissociative Identity Disorder to the discovery, acceptance, and ultimate embrace of her internal system of personality parts. This book explores the question, "who is Suritaplus?" and finds answers in the story revealed through her journals, artwork, and therapist's notes. "Quilted" is a story of anger, denial, grief, courage, hope, compassion, and joy.
August ~ September Workshops & Events
Tuesday, August 22, 1 pm Eastern: Writing-in-Place
Tuesday, August 29, 1 pm Eastern: Traditional Workshop
Wednesday, August 30, 8 pm Eastern: Evening Writing-in-Place
Tuesday, September 5, 1 pm Eastern: Writing-in-Place
Monday, September 11, 3 pm Eastern: Memoir Class, By Registration Only
Monday, September 11, 6:30 pm Eastern: DW Business Meeting
Tuesday, September 12, 1 pm Eastern: Traditional Workshop
Wednesday, September 13, 8 pm Eastern, Writing-in-Place
Monday, September 18, 3 pm Eastern, Memoir Class, By Registration Only
Tuesday, September 19, 1 pm Eastern, Writing-in-Place
Wednesday, September 20, 2 pm, Social Hangout
Monday, September 25, 3 pm Eastern: Memoir Class, By Registration Only
Tuesday, September 26, 1 pm Eastern: Traditional Workshop
Wednesday, September 27, 8 pm: Writing-in-Place
Coming Soon …!
🕊️
What can we gain by sailing to the moon if we are not able to cross the abyss that separates us from ourselves?
~ Thomas Merton
Lyn